Cold shoulder

I remember when I was a kid, what inspirited me the most to go to school was to play with my friends. But little did I know , I will lose them. Ever since, I was young, I had friends. However, I never understood why I kept on looking for a new playmate. Was it because I felt secured in a crowd of people or because I haven’t met yet the fitting friends?

It’s crazy how you can make prodigious sacrifices for someone who won’t even say “Thank you” back. At a snail’s pace, you start having that intuition of being the gray duck in the story. You feel rejected, abandoned.

Every sunrise illuminates you that there is clearly no friendship off the record. Despite, you opt for imagining it.

They only come to you for a shoulder to cry on but not a friend to laugh with. In need of a help in homeworks but not to help you.

You spend all your summer on a sofa watching Netflix with an ice cream pot, feeling like you are on a long line waiting for your turn to be loved. Unconditionally accepted is all you want. Eventually, you create a facebook and an instagram account. Each fall of the sun below horizon, you count your followers. The bigger the number, the warmer your shoulders gets.

Now, I know why i kept on searching for new friends. Some would kick in teeth and I wanted to remplace them with better ones.

We need to understand that rejection is a fact of life. Soon or later, it comes to us. We need not to be surprised but accept it.

Have you ever asked yourself, why is it hard to make friends as we grow?

We don’t grow into a friendless person.

The thing is, after facing more than three rejections. We tend to isolate ourselves from the world. Not because we hate people but because we are looking for the courage to accept rejection. Once we find it, we become self confident. And that’s when people say ” I know who I am”

Rejection, shake it off and move on.


Let me know your thoughts,

Much love xx

A blind soul

Nightmare. Have you ever felt this way? It happened last night. I saw them blink in a big shadow evading my space. My entire body was trembling and shaking, my palms sweating. I was so terrified, I couldn’t breath. I tried to swallow my fear. Fortunately, my shrill cry saved me: mom’s long arms quickly wrapped around me. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. It wasn’t a nightmare: that shadow has always been there.

Every single day, walking in the street, in the school’s corridor, on the beach. Doing an oral presentation, singing on a stage, dancing at a party. I feel them on my back, steadily looking. Their gaze follows my every move sending chills down my spine.

I see hostility, jealousy, antipathy, enmity towards me behind those eyesights. Some are green, blue, brown, black. Despite their differences, they all pierce me to the bone.

With mascara or without

With sunglasses or just glasses

With grey eyebrows or black

They all hold that hypercritical look.

Even though, I keep resisting, their glances keep hunting me. Within their eyes, I discern their criticism on my hair, my beauty and my outfit.

Isn’t it crazy how our eyes can replace our tongues ? They are the windows to our souls.

But now I know,

I know that you can’t stop people from staring at you and judging you. I know that from the start the blame wasn’t on them, it was on me. I trusted my eyes more than my heart. They were blinded by those censorious thoughts.

Today, all I see in those eyes is the reflection of the person I am not nor will I ever be. The fact that they do not know me, only gives me a chance to introduce my true personality to those who know me by name.

Our appearance is an impression, our personality genuine. Aim to be the best version of yourself. Change your angle of sight and live your way fit.


I hope the message behind this words really inspired you. Let me know your thoughts, leave a comment. Thank you so much for reading.

Much love❤️

Hasta pronto amigos !!!

The monetary flame within

Blinded by the sun, I got thirsty. we were picnicking. I was four, I wore my favourite pink dress, a smile and a twinkle in my eyes. I heard a loud siren and screamed with joy “Ice cream!” My cousins and I rushed up to the ice cream van. I asked for a chocolate vanilla ice cream.

The man told me,” Sorry! I need money, go ask your dad.”

I had to give something in return. My dad gave me a paper bill.

Next time, when I went for ice cream, I torn a paper from my note book and gave it to the ice-cream man.

He looked at the paper and said,” Young lady, this isn’t money. I need real money!”

My paper was missing numbers.

Later in life, I learned that I have to work hard and earn the paper money that has numbers.We are not just born with them!

A hundred years ago, freedom was life. A hundred years later , money is life. I guess, our minds change with time. Our happiness, dreams and future depend on money, on how many zeros we have after a number in our bank accounts. Most of us go to school not for the sake of knowledge but for money. We choose careers that guarantees the depth of our pockets. Unfortunately, it’s never enough for us. A “greedy-itis” is all it is!

Money is the difference between two continents, two countries, two individuals and two wallets.

Money is a measure of our capacities and our power. If you are not rich, you will always be called ” A nobody.” It separate us into different social classes ( upper, middle, lower) yet we are not different at all.Without money, death is near. Many kids die from hunger, mothers die from depression and dads from desperation.

Money makes us selfish, sad and mad than a hatter. We lose our minds before our hearts stop. Money challenges love. It breaks a family, a couple and a heart. We learn how to make sacrifices and how to share.

We lie for it,

We kill for it,

We die for it,

We cry for it.

Without money, we are terrified that the world will never know our name. But who cares? It will always buy items that won’t last forever, that’s its limit.

Money is like fire. If you get too close, it will burn you. If you keep your distance, it will just warm you.

Use it wisely!


Later people

New eyes

I have been told plenty of times to talk to someone when I feel grief stricken. But I think, I don’t know how to try. I attempted to talk and no one listened. My words kept on coming back like an echo. I see people walking around me but I feel lonely, abandoned.

Someone please hold me close to your heart beat: I can’t hear mine anymore!!

The bitterness is buried so deep inside. The phrase “Let me be free” became my prayer every single night. I endeavour to hold back a tear but in the end, I release a screech. I wear fake smiles , forcing a happy face to feel better. However, emotions always win over logic.

One month ago, your parents divorced.

Three weeks ago, your mum died of cancer.

Two weeks ago, at the end of the term, your report was ugly as hell despite your efforts and prayers.

Five days ago, your best friend, the person you trusted the most, the one you shared a lot, betrayed you. And now, all you are left with is a broken story.

Yesterday, you quibbled with your dad on your habits of skipping classes.

Sometimes, our lives slowly turn into our worst nightmare yet we can’t escape it. Submerged in an atrocious sorrow, we ask ourselves, if we should let it go and drown. Every sunset, we look for a hand to hold, a joke to laugh at, a shoulder to cry on. We wish for a better friend, parent, sister or brother.

We wish for a better life !!!

We keep on waiting for something big and the clock keeps on ticking. Our hair become grey, our age older. In the end, we realize that what we had from the start was way better.

We do not need to escape circumstances, we need to be present in them. We  might think that they make us weak but they actually make us stronger. What hurts can be healed. Just because things go wrong, doesn’t mean they are out of our control.

We do not need to see new things, we need to see the same old things with new eyes.

Once you believe in the beauty of life, you can cruise through it. Turn around and take a good look. Behold your life in general. If you don’t see any goodness or how lucky you are, you haven’t looked well enough.

Keep your eyesights on the bright side of life if not they will be submerged in anguished tears.


Later people !

Our life seasons

After a longtime of observation, I finally understood how nature works. It is just like a human being soul, each season is mysteriously related to our moods.

Winter,the coldest season of the year, quite reminds me of those moments when I feel broken and icy inside. Moments when I can’t stop shivering and sobbing.

Spring, one of my favorite in the four conventional temperate seasons and here is why. I just love spring cleaning!

Spring cleaning isn’t just about getting rid of things that hold old memories. It is a chance to redefine yourself, to clean any negative thought that tears us down. It is a chance to change expectations. Ever since, my family and I never forget to make a spring cleaning list. Ever since, through the season, I let my soul bloom like a flower.

Summer, it reminds me of those moments when I can’t hold back a laughter. Moments when I feel the love from my family and friends floating around my heart. When it’s all warm inside.

Fall, the harvest season. After those lovely fun moments of summer, I harvest peace, serenity and harmony.

Sometimes we see our lives as a perfect mess. We have an intuition of being that garden always facing those 4 same seasons, but remember “Every year isn’t the same”. Your next winter won’t be tough as the first. Once you fall, you get up stronger.

So erase those worries because tomorrow everything will be alright.

Life is a journey full of surprises!!

Later guys 😉

A blurred vision

Beside math equations, I have been trying to understand life. The life of business, wealthy, the one of “ Run or die”. The life of spirituality, love and share , the one Gandhi used to talk about. I wonder which one to choose? I tried and found zero answer. But something is obvious the life of “ Run or die”dominates. Unfortunately, our world is Egocentric.

My name is Diandra, I was born in Rwanda, the country of a thousand hills. I am an 18 years girl hoping that by writing every single phrase of my life, I will finally get the definition of life.

Why should we feel lonely when we have people around us ? Why does a smile fade?     Why should we fail after a long time of victory?  Why should we have a thin body for us to feel comfy?  Why should things get worst at that moment you just got a glitter of joy?

These are some of my questions left hanging without answers

They say every colour represents something and I see countries using those colours as an identity. Sometimes I wonder which ones defines me ? Is it blue, yellow or both? I feel lost  but I have been told that my age explains my confusion. That I am just like a bird hatching from its egg. Does it mean that my age gives more sense to my life? I honestly doubt because they seem not to get it too.

I took a flashback on my life and came to this conclusion. Life is a puzzle, every piece sticks together to create who we are. What we do, say and how we feel. Every experience shapes us into who we will become.

So if u are living a cold harsh moment, let it be your one piece but not your puzzle. Stick it to your happy moment and give yourself a reason to smile.