A blurred vision

Beside math equations, I have been trying to understand life. The life of business, wealthy, the one of “ Run or die”. The life of spirituality, love and share , the one Gandhi used to talk about. I wonder which one to choose? I tried and found zero answer. But something is obvious the life of “ Run or die”dominates. Unfortunately, our world is Egocentric.

My name is Diandra, I was born in Rwanda, the country of a thousand hills. I am an 18 years girl hoping that by writing every single phrase of my life, I will finally get the definition of life.

Why should we feel lonely when we have people around us ? Why does a smile fade?     Why should we fail after a long time of victory?  Why should we have a thin body for us to feel comfy?  Why should things get worst at that moment you just got a glitter of joy?

These are some of my questions left hanging without answers

They say every colour represents something and I see countries using those colours as an identity. Sometimes I wonder which ones defines me ? Is it blue, yellow or both? I feel lost  but I have been told that my age explains my confusion. That I am just like a bird hatching from its egg. Does it mean that my age gives more sense to my life? I honestly doubt because they seem not to get it too.

I took a flashback on my life and came to this conclusion. Life is a puzzle, every piece sticks together to create who we are. What we do, say and how we feel. Every experience shapes us into who we will become.

So if u are living a cold harsh moment, let it be your one piece but not your puzzle. Stick it to your happy moment and give yourself a reason to smile.

23 thoughts on “A blurred vision”

  1. Understanding life isn’t going to be easy because it’s so controversial, if you think you mastered it then you are simply doomed.
    Life is like an angry sea, the wise sailor knows not to try and conquer or tame it, he knows that to survive he has to go with the flow and not defy it because no matter how important you think you are, you are just a tiny flicker of light in an ocean of stars.
    We lie to ourselves by constantly saying that we are of importance in this world, because at the end of the day we all need to think we have a purpose to be able to move on in life, so we just hold on to any idea which feeds our never ending need for value, be it the creation theories for those who believe in higher powers and think they are serving a divine entity or the non-believers who think themselves smart because of their scientific approach on life.
    Well higher power or not, the truth about this world is one.
    We are all lowly beasts guided by our primitive needs and bodily wants, we hide behind our technological advances and new inventions but to be honest they are mere objects in the hands of disgusting creatures.
    All those items we pride ourselves in are nothing because we lose our humanity and souls for them, we focus so much on what’s trending we forget to look up from our screens and find out for ourselves. We believe what is said by our hypocritic leaders and turn a blind eye on what we see by ourselves because we are too scared to face the truth.
    Either that or we are simply blind because not every thing is what it seems to be, we are lonely even though we are not alone because we are empty shells trying desperately to find anything to fill the huge void in our hearts, we try to fill it with friends, money, power,physical strengh,drugs, alcohol but in the end everything fades away and we remain empty still.
    Our smiles fade because they are masks which cannot be worn forever and that’s the harsh reality of life.
    We fail because we think too small and when we reach a minimal victory we lay down and cross our arms.
    We want thin bodies because we our society doesn’t deem you worthy of attention when you’re rounder than the next person, but it’s not simply that because we are oppressed and degraged because of our skin color, race, nationality, gender, life choices, professions and we just let it be because we are too weak to put a stop to it, because those views are so deeply ingrained in us that another century wouldn’t lessen it even by a fraction.
    If life was a colour then it would definitely be grey because the brighter you expect it to be, the more gruesome and dark you find it.
    Even though my comment may indicate otherwise, I don’t believe life to be all black because no matter how unfair it can get, in the end you get a little moment to breathe so revel in it as much as you can but be careful end don’t get used to it.
    My advice is this one, don’t get comfortable where you are because you may have this dream house and big room, flat screen tvs, lots of friends, fame, beauty, money and all those but you never know what tomorrow holds so don’t sit and smile at your seemingly perfect life because in the end everybody leaves and everything turns to rubble.
    We walk alone.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s